Two posts ago, I wrote about my health care practitioner – the lab-coat clad one who wanted to know what distance mediation was. The explanation clearly caught his attention because, immediately, he popped the next question. “Why would someone use this type of service?” Now, this was my kind of conversation! I was starting to get really pleasant associations with lab coats at this point.
At least ten good reasons to use distance family mediation come to mind. But, before I launch into those, this might be a good time to mention the advantages of using mediation generally. A lot has been written on this topic: mediation’s privacy, informality, flexibility, cost-effectiveness, and the fact that it allows people to craft their own solutions. I won’t get into a description of these well known benefits here, largely because that’s already been done by better writers at Mediate BC (see About Mediation).
Rather, what I’d like to point out is the potential that mediation has to effect positive personal change. Working as a researcher and as Roster Administrator, I heard countless stories about how the interactions and information exchanges which took place during mediation changed people’s lives. Why this is, I don’t exactly know. Perhaps it is mediation’s safe and controlled environment which allows people to have conversations they haven’t been able to have otherwise. Perhaps it is how the mediation process encourages people to listen to another person’s point of view, which also helps people to feel heard. Or, perhaps the forgiveness a person can give after really listening – or that the feeling of being forgiven – frees them to move on with their lives. I suspect there are as many reasons for mediation’s effectiveness this way as there are people who’ve been changed by participating in the process.
It seems to me that real, personal change often happens only as a result of an extreme event, as is illustrated in the wonderful TED talk by Ric Elias in the video below. One of the benefits of mediation, in my view, is that it holds out the possibility that we can make a positive change in our life, without going through such an event.
Those ten good reasons to use distance family mediation coming next!